“Mama needs a drink!” Is it time to rethink our drinking?

The Rethink Your Drinking campaign has me thinking. Thinking about standard drink sizes, the long and short term health effects of alcohol use and when zero alcohol is the limit. It also has me thinking about my kids.

When I reflect on alcohol use and parenting; I like to think I have it covered. I’ve had the talk; no drinking and driving, no drinking until legal age, I have a “call us, no questions asked” policy. Check, check, check.

But wait, there is so much more to consider.

happy cute brunette girl with a cup full of wine by matias delcarmine

My husband arrived home from a weekend across the border with candy for the kids and a bottle of rye for me. A bottle big enough to carry me and 20 friends through until his next year’s weekend away. I jokingly hugged it; which is what I generally do when I am given a gift (okay I will also rub it on my cheek, but I’m sure I didn’t do that this time).  Now, fast forward one month. We are at a shopping mall and there is a giant billboard with said bottle clearly displayed… cue my 5 year old (hollering from several feet away) “Hey, Mommy, look! It’s your favourite present!” Gulp. Floor. Swallow. Me. Up. NOW.

How many times have I joked with little ones nearby “Mama needs a drink”? How about the cooler for a day at a backyard picnic; filled to the brim with juice boxes nestled in next to “mommy’s cider” and ‘daddy’s beer”? Continue reading

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It’s time to stop the Yes/No questions

For the rest of the day, listen to yourself when you talk to your kids. I did this recently and was struck by how many times I asked my kids a Yes/No question, when instead I meant to be giving instruction. No wonder I was hearing so many No’s!

Parents are late trying to get out the door while mother pulls little girl's hand to hurry up“Okay kids, how about we all tidy the room up?”

“Can you please get ready to go?”

And the best phrase is when I tack on that innocent “okay”.

“After dinner, it’s time for a bath, okay?”  We ask okay, because in our minds we are seeking validation. It’s a “did you understand me?” But believe me, kids are hearing a Yes/No question. Continue reading

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8 tips to help support a friend with infertility

Disappointed woman finding out pregnancy testI went through infertility before I became a mother. Infertility is often a profound rollercoaster of hope, grief, loneliness and helplessness that overwhelms many who are struggling to have children.

If you know a friend or family member struggling – chances are you do as 1 in 6 couples in Canada face infertility – you might be wondering how you can show your support. I have come up with 8 tips that I found especially helpful during this difficult time: Continue reading

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Our kids make great teachers

My tween and teens are a lot more tech-savvy than I am. They are naturally adept with today’s technology and have a skill for trouble shooting. I frequently find myself asking to draw on their expertise when I am learning a new social media app or gadget. Asking them to teach me how to do something sometimes gets me an impatient chuckle and accompanying eye roll – “Oh, Mom” – but it also allows us to trade places as they take on the role of the more experienced  mentor and I do my best to role model how to be an open minded learner by accepting feedback and taking it all in.

A great strategy for learning something is teaching it to someone else. One good way to help your teen with their school work is to ask them to teach you. It can be a positive part of their homework habits. The age old saying “while we teach, we learn” holds very true. Sharing their knowledge can also help your teen to build their own enjoyment and interest in a particular topic and help them retain information. I have learned trigonometry and WWII just by asking my 16-year old to fill me in on what she’s doing in class. So we both benefit. Continue reading

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Mom versus mascara in the battle of the make-up

Mascara.  It’s a simple word, but somehow it has become the bane of my existence. Really and truly.

I’ve never had any hard-and-fast rules when it comes to make-up use and my four daughters. Usually, if something seems reasonable it is worth consideration.

I remember clearly telling my oldest, when she started high school, “you know, if you would like to wear some make-up I am ok with that”.  She gave me a non-committal shrug of the shoulders and off she went.  She can be seen once in a while wearing mascara and on occasion she takes it to the next level by throwing on some neutral lip balm.  My 14-year-old is the same. Very little interest.

Then came #3. Bless her. She loves all things glam and glitter. And she LOVES make up.

Time for mascara!

Continue reading

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Positive parenting. Is it worth it?

I am officially the mother of a 16 year old! How on earth did that happen? How is it that I am the mother of teenage kids! I never imagined I would be that old or that I would be equipped to parent a teen! I had preconceived notions that parenting teens would be a nightmare. Actually its quite the opposite. It’s so much fun! Yes fun! I’m in awe at how my kids are turning into young adults that I am so proud of. I think to myself, how did I get here?

I started reflecting on my parenting journey just recently when I saw friends with younger children dealing with challenging behaviours. They asked me, (or should I say pleaded with me) “tell me it gets easier”? Continue reading

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New to Canada? How to embrace winter!

When my parents told me we were moving to Canada, I remember being so excited to see snow for the first time. I couldn’t wait to make a snowman like the ones I had seen in the movies. You can imagine my disappointment when I looked out the plane window and didn’t see any snow anywhere. I was sad – but not for long! Three days after arriving in Canada, I woke up to see a white blanket of snow covering the ground! “Finally!” I   thought. Continue reading

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